Sex within the couple

A big job... there's nothing to it, sex in the couple is a big job!!! Correct me if I'm wrong... I mean the one with THE WOMAN OF LIFE, whom one is also lucky enough to marry (you said nothing!). 

In the beginning it's certainly fireworks that not even on the Gaza strip, but as time goes by and the relationship evolves and all the ins and outs that inevitably come along (apart from the routine, the bickering about the house, the one you like doesn't like her, and the mother-in-law who falls ill, and a three-month delay which thank God is resolved but which causes a change in perspective, the expired and non-renewed work contract, the half-hearted lurch for the jogger in the park or the thong of the one on the rocks... ) really threaten the raptus that leads you to a blowjob on the fly in the apartment block's garage, before going upstairs with the shopping bags and to hell with the frozen food and the dinner to prepare, that in less than two hours the four parents arrive to celebrate the kid's birthday... 

The example hijinks I have listed have at least a contraceptive/narrowing effect on the acrobatic sexuality of the early days (almost as much as curlers, fleece pyjamas and Disney-branded babouches, whoever uses them in the presence of the husband should be criminally sanctioned!)... Am I right? 

Sure, the beginning, when you are IN LOVE is not AMAZING, it's more, being inside each other is the most right and inescapable thing in the whole history of the world, then slowly... 

It is almost imperceptible, but the frequency thins out, and also the intensity of the gestures and the resulting sensations 'resize', 'fade', 'dilute'... Maybe it's a matter of years, but after five years, when coming back from the office with the congested traffic, there is hardly the urgency to open it like an apple, barely making time to close the front door and slam it on the marble floor of the entrance... You know what I mean?

But it is also consoling and reassuring to have that body that you love and that loves you, that welcomes you and that knows and recognises you, that knows how to make you come, that moves in that certain way so right when it feels you are about to come... How can you give up all that?

But most of all: how can you make sure that that body that loves me remains inalienable, despite our mutual flaws? That no other distraction ruins the marriage (and the relationship with the children and with the bank for the mortgage, and the in-laws who 'told him from day one that it would end like this!')... There are many ways, one of which is the 'spice up the ass', and then of course it takes commitment, a lot of work, rightly so... But it is a job for two, because in this sense, collaboration is as necessary as the air you breathe. In absentia, flab! 

How to do it? In the meantime, respect, which must never be lacking (love may end, and that is almost always inevitable, because we are not hawks, wolves or penguins), but in spite of everything, RESPECT SHOULD NEVER BE LACKING! At the altar, in front of that army of guests who can't wait to gorge themselves, one should only swear eternal respect, not love, because LOVE (and physical attraction) over time, willy-nilly, transforms and without respect it dies out, lack of respect pulverises LOVE... because respect is what prevents the relationship from being killed without possibility of appeal. If only because if you respect the other person, even if you are now brother and sister, quarrels will be more reasonable, less devastating and unpleasant, they will not be without return and, above all, lawyers will cost less (for goodness sake, I don't want the lawyers)... 

So, how do we avoid extinguishing LOVE and physical attraction too quickly?

This needs to be worked on right from the start, from the moment you realise THAT IS THE RIGHT PERSON! It takes courage and imagination! And not thinking that <<this my wife will never be able to do it!!!>> To make a point: De Niro in "Therapy and bullets" explains to Billy Crystal that the lover has it in him to get blowjobs because his wife can't, because woe betide the mouth kissing my children...  

Don't be afraid to let the woman you love freely express her fantasies and desires, especially at the beginning, and over the years never stop telling her, ask her to open up, make her confess the unmentionable, make her bring out the rotten, don't be afraid to follow her into the restaurant toilet to fuck her as if you were a stranger with whom to have torrid and lascivious sex, to be consumed even hastily promising her that you will follow her home <<to continue>>. Of course, however, when she begins to confess, you will have to accept her confidences UNCONDITIONALLY, take note of them and accept them UNCONDITIONALLY as a part of her... However, as a precaution, listen to her while sitting down!

For example, tempt her with the most indignant things even while she is choosing pasta at the supermarket and not only when you are licking her (<<How I would like to have a contest with someone - or someone - to see who licks it better! >>). Come home with some book of erotic literature or porn, or a kamasutra and practice what you read, not skimping on punitive expeditions to some sex shop. 

IF you have the courage to overcome the limits of the genetic urge that alas possesses you, then everything will be easier. Also because along with that damn instinct, there are the cultural and religious legacies that go along with it! What is genetic urgency? Genetic urgency is an instinct, it is that 'thing' whereby male dogs raise their paw on yet another tree even after a six-hour walk to mark their territory. It is that feeling of annoyance (or anger!) that you feel for the ex even if she no longer attracts you, even if you have dumped her, but if you find out she has taken up with someone else, it annoys or pisses you off. It's that thing whereby if the girl you neglected and could have treated better leaves you, you feel entitled to stalk her, if not even to bury her after the last clarification... And don't tell me it's not true, because we've been killed for millennia, ever since the male realised that it's the sperm that gives rise to a son, a son for whom you have to go hunting (today, to work! ) risking death and sacrificing energy and resources, so that child had better be mine, or else... And all this modus pensandi has the blessing of the three great monotheistic religions (because they were founded by men!) - as well as mothers! The mothers of the male children are the biggest supporters of machismo, as for machismo they give shit even to Mussolini!

This leads to the differentiation between two major categories: women to fuck and women to marry! The ones to fuck are the flashy ones, maybe a bit gaudy and/or boorish, who can/must do the impossible in bed, the one who can make orgies, who can be a lesbian, but you would never, ever dream of introducing her into your 'normal' life, of introducing her as a girlfriend at your Sunday lunch at your mum's and relatives'! 

Then there are those to be married, the good girls, ILLIBBED/ASEXPECTED, the ones you barely notice, with a sober, almost chaste attire, who knows how to iron shirts and make lasagne like mum's (almost, mum is unattainable! ), who is prepared for the gallows once a month, who only lets you see her on Saturday evenings, with the light off (so you see her very little!) you on top and her underneath, and that you don't go any further <<because then the sheets get wrinkled and certain things I don't do, I'm not one of those, me! If you want to do something else, turn elsewhere! >> And if you turn elsewhere, she'll sponge you with alimony. But after all, one like that pleases you too, because if she doesn't like it with you, she doesn't like it with others either (deluded!), and then woe if the mouth kissing my children... Am I wrong?

I see it another way, because I can guarantee that we women too have unconfessable sexual urges (i.e. unconfessable because we can't confess them, thanks to those fucking religious/cultural, nay, ACULTURAL, dictates!) that we don't want to confide to the man we desire and have married, otherwise he would get the wrong idea about us. We would make him look bad at Sunday lunch with the family. 

Only with the years, the 'aseptic' sexuality of the demure woman dies out within three months, not years, and then one really becomes brother and sister and the other's faults really become unbearable! Am I right?     

Let's face it, after years, always the same pussy bores you, and us women too! Here's one thing we can't confess! But I'll tell you: AFTER A FEW YEARS, THE SAME COCK BORE US, YOU KNOW! And so, in anticipation of this boredom, prepare yourselves both right away, from before that emotional and sexual evolution that inevitably takes place. Inevitably because we are not hawks, penguins or wolves. Biologically speaking, THEY were born to be together till death do them part, but we are not! So, IF the relationship has fortunately lasted for 20/30/40 years, in defiance of acultural legacies, at the first whiff of boredom, yours or his, you will not be afraid to put your fantasies into practice, because over the years, from the beginning you have confessed and promised each other! Especially those that go beyond or contradict the hypocritical petit-bourgeois thinking, and so you start with a little craziness, I am not saying to reach the levels of Marquis Casati Stampa and his wife Anna, who then came to a bad end (go to wikipedia! ) a weekend in a spa or for a tantra course, and if that's not enough, there are separate holidays, or a trip to a private club, or swapping... I consider swapping to be positive, because it can be a reason for complicity and not division, as a clandestine relationship or a whore trip can be! With swinging there is no subterfuge, no deception, no lies, which is the real lack of respect! What happens during a swingers' meeting is sought and approved and accepted by all! And then the spice up your ass that swinging puts on you... Since you barely looked at her, if you see her grappling with two new cocks, your wife goes back to being the object of desire of the early days! Ditto for her, to see your cock disappear into the pussy of one and come out dripping to be cleaned by the mouth of another!        

You will discover how good it is to be sucked by two enthusiastic mouths, one of which does it with a greater urgency because she wants to be better than the 'new' one, or how exciting it is to fuck your woman together with another cock at the same time, that same pussy that you have licked countless times and that you will punish as soon as you have closed the door! And without knowing that she, not at all intimidated, will continue to masturbate you even in the car while you are driving home at 4 a.m. like the last of the sluts!

Back to the jealousy of the early days that revives the relationship and the desire to be together again, to grow old together, forever. And if, in order to achieve this forever, some diversion is necessary, so be it, better some cheerful and carefree TRANSGRESSION together than an unfortunate divorce, which would lead you to fall back on a one-room flat, to make truly humiliating savings and spend Sundays at Caritas for a hot dish, to lose the esteem of your children, etc. etc. Do you support this? (Not there, a little further down, there, bravo, thank you!)  

Will you let me know? I'm always waiting for opinions, confess them to me, get used to bringing out the rotten, with Masha you can do it.... 

A hug, M. Masha, +39349.6521447